“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation-some fact in my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.” ~ AA Big Book, Page417
Acceptance is the key to serenity, peaceful living, and healthy relationships. Recently, a dear friend unintentionally sent out an email to the “wrong” group of people. I spent a few hours ruminating, pondering, and, at times, worrying about the ramifications or blowback of that “mistake.” Then, as I began writing this blog, I remembered that “it is exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.”
When a mistake happens, an offense inflicted, or a tragedy or crisis occurs, that moment passes in a heartbeat. We cannot undo it, and neither can anyone else. One cannot “unring the bell.” It’s done and finished.
Accepting an apology or an amends does not erase the fact that the moment happened. However, acceptance of the reality of “what is” is the first step in the journey toward healing and serenity. It is essential to remember that acceptance does not mean we condone or erase words, actions, behaviors, places, or things. It merely helps us to move from denial, wishing, worrying, and resentment to healing.
This same concept applies to people, places, things, personal growth, and physical healing. It is not within our power to change another person, nor is it wise to attempt such a feat. We might be in a physical location we dislike or find it uncomfortable, such as our house or vehicle. We have a “thing” we don’t want. We cannot change anything until we have accepted that this is what is in this moment.
“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.”
~ AA Big Book, Page 417